Elliptical Trainers are Dead to Me
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INTUITIVE THERAPIST

Elliptical Trainers are Dead to Me

I recently moved from a big city to a really small country town in Queensland Australia and my house is about 5 minutes from a beach. Chances are, when I've written this  that that's where I am. Feet in the sand, staring at the ocean and working out whether or not I want to go in. Strange thing here is that the water is really warm - like a bath. To be honest - it can feel a bit creepy on your skin. So - I don't always go in.
I'll have food on my clothes for absolute sure and my care factor about that is a big ZERO.

I'm BECK!

hello,

Infidelity
Picture this.  Gorgeous weather – I’d dragged myself out of bed, and dropped my kids off for kindergarten and school.  Walked to the gym (this was a few years ago – :)) Grabbed locker keys.  Filled my water bottle with chilled water(has to be ice cold) and headed up two flights of stairs to the cardio room.

I think I’ve already mentioned it but in case you’re new – I had a stroke at 30 and one of the side effects is that I can’t run on a treadmill.  When I walk even on a street, I have to say under my breath “Left Right Left Right” and watch my feet as I walk.  As you can imagine – I can’t say  “Left Right Left Right” fast enough to run on a treadmill.  I go flying off the back of the treadmill and can only hope I hit a wall and not a person.

Anyways- that was why I was on the Elliptical Trainer.  I always grab the machine nearest the door to the toilet – 5 kids.  Earplugs in.  Depeche Mode pumping away”Personal Jesus”.   And – I was pushing through those first yucky 10 minutes where you just want to go home when….my phone buzzed.

I looked down and saw an email notification from a strange address. 

I had to stop to read it.  Which pissed me off because the timer restarts on the elliptical trainer when you stop for too long.

“Dear Rebecca,

I found your name and email on my computer.  Our mutual friend ####### must have forgotten to close his history.  But it appears that he was emailing you from bed with me straight after we’d just F$$$ed.  I consider him to be my boyfriend and it seems – so do you.  I thought I should do the right thing and let you know.

Regards

Rebecca” – yep, the assh@@@ was dating two girls named Rebecca.

I had asked him for months about this “friend” and he had told me that I was far too suspicious and had trust issues.

All the details are juicy but irrelevant. 

The things that stick in my brain aren’t these though.

I remember the emotions and the pain – it was physical.  It crushed me.  Not just the cheating but the lying.  Later I found out that everyone knew.  The betrayal.  My chest actually ached and my stomach felt like it was full of rocks.  I cried out loud for days – I couldn’t stop it.  And – I HATE crying in public.  I felt like I was the problem.

What I can tell you is that this other gorgeous woman and I handled our new knowledge very very differently   Within 15 minutes she had dumped everything of his that she could find in her house, in a black bag, on his doorstep – along with a very explicit note telling him where he could put it all.

I had a different approach – no secrets – hers was much healthier.

Infidelity is a huge thing.  And no matter what you say your boundaries are – you don’t know how you’re going to react to it until it happens to you.

It is so personal to each person and to the relationship as a whole.

And you would be surprised to know that more marriages actually survive infidelity than are wrecked by it.
You can recover from it.

Chat soon

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