a life in perfect balance

rebecca chapman  - relationship whisperer

Never ever feed him after midnight

I recently moved from a big city to a really small country town in Queensland Australia and my house is about 5 minutes from a beach. Chances are, when I've written this  that that's where I am. Feet in the sand, staring at the ocean and working out whether or not I want to go in. Strange thing here is that the water is really warm - like a bath. To be honest - it can feel a bit creepy on your skin. So - I don't always go in.
I'll have food on my clothes for absolute sure and my care factor about that is a big ZERO.

I'm BECK!

hello,

childhood wounds

 

Continuing with my 80’s movie theme.  Not sure how it happened but I’m running with it.

What led to me obsessing about “Gremlins”…apart from the fact that I saw it three times in the same week of 1984 with 3 different guys and pretended I hadn’t seen it before….which makes me shake my head.  I was ALLLLLLLL about pleasing people and never making them feel bad.  Making them think they were special by never saying “no”.  Dumbass tactic.

I’ll get to the real reason I’ve been thinking about Gremlins in a sec…bear with me. 

My experience chatting to couples is that they think that love will always bring out the wonderous, glorious, spectacular best in us.

Disney and movies are a lot to blame for this.   

And books – I used to read a lot of romantic novels (shudders) when I was 14 and spent the next few years looking for my Prince Charming.  He’d wipe my childhood wounds away and soothe my troubled soul.  Plot twist – he most definitely did not.

The truth, however, plays out a little differently.

Marriage brings out all the grisly, messy, complicated bits of ourselves. Not always at the start.  Sometimes in the middle and pretty much always at the end.  Hence messy breakups.

No matter how tall you build a wall to hide yourself, in time, most of our partners eventually will learn the truth about us.  Or, at least what it’s like to live with us – and none of us are saints. 

And now – back to Gremlins. 

Marriage can sometimes feel like you or your partner have gone from this:

To this…

 

So – a lot of my work when I work with people whose marriages are in trouble – is unpacking childhood stuff. 

Most of us have love wounds, some run deep from childhood, and others appear after tough teenage or adult experiences.

Some pierce us right through the heart, others are itty-bitty ouchies on the surface.

But – they have to be brought out.

You might think you’re doing a good job of hiding them – I did – but I can pretty much guarantee you’re not.

A little secret about me – I actually am a registered Childhood Emotional Neglect Therapist – so this is my thang too. I find that I use that training a lot when I’m talking to people about their relationships.

And the good bit – all of these wounds are healed in relationships.  You don’t need to be perfect or fixed before you enter into a relationship or marriage.  Noone is. You do need to take responsibility for your own healing.

 

It’s often the relationship that triggers the wounds and the relationship that heals the wounds.


Because I offer one-on-one mentoring – I tailor the whole experience to you and your partner. Getting down and dirty with the specific wounds you might be carrying.

It’s tough to hear yourself say that you are vulnerable and wounded – and it’s often best to talk about these things in a very supportive and safe place.  Having those words actually leave your mouth is scary as heck – and sometimes a bit of a shock.

Does the thought of having this conversation make your tummy drop to the floor?

If you’ve been struggling with your relationships...

If you want help having the tough conversations…

If you’ve tried many things to help your relationships that simply haven’t worked…I can help.

But most importantly, if you’ve been feeling the pull to have me by your side as your mentor, and you’re ready for deep support as you find your answer to “should I stay or should I go”…click below to book your first session.

We’ll use an intuitive and solution-based method to get you sorted.

I can’t wait to be your wingman.

 

P.S.  I’m going to go full circle with this email – writing genius I know – and pop a list of 50 boundary-setting statements in here.  The ones I needed when I was trying to be the “perfect” woman/people pleaser.  My pleasure. 

Kyall.  Peter.  Robert … Thank you all for taking me to see Gremlins.

I’ll leave you with a Gremlins boundary – “Don’t ever feed them after midnight”  

Rebecca Chapman - A Life in Perfect Balance

Disclaimer: This article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered a tool for accurate diagnosis or assessment of psychological conditions. The content provided is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

The information presented in this article is based on general knowledge and research up to the date of its publication. However, the field of psychology is complex and continually evolving, and individual circumstances can vary widely. Therefore, the content may not be applicable or relevant to specific personal situations.

Readers are strongly encouraged to consult qualified mental health professionals or licensed practitioners for personalized assessments, diagnosis, and treatment options tailored to their unique needs. If you or someone you know is experiencing psychological distress or exhibiting concerning behavior, seek immediate help from a qualified healthcare provider, therapist, or counselor.

The author and publisher of this article disclaim any responsibility for the accuracy, timeliness, or completeness of the information provided herein. Furthermore, they shall not be held liable for any actions or decisions made based on the content of this article.

In using this article, you agree to do so at your own risk and acknowledge that the author and publisher are not liable for any consequences arising from its use. Always exercise caution and discretion when interpreting and applying the information provided in this article to any individual situation.

Lastly, please be aware that the content in this article may not cover all aspects of specific psychological conditions or mental health issues, and it is not a substitute for ongoing professional counseling or therapy. Seek appropriate guidance from qualified mental health experts to address your specific concerns comprehensively.

This article contains references to individuals, both living and deceased, solely for illustrative or historical purposes. These references are not intended to endorse, defame, or disrespect any person, and any resemblance to real individuals is purely coincidental.

While efforts have been made to provide accurate and up-to-date information, the portrayal of historical figures or living individuals in this article may be subjective or based on publicly available knowledge up to the time of writing. The intent is to provide context and examples for a more comprehensive understanding of the topic at hand.

It is essential to recognize that opinions and perspectives on individuals, especially those who are no longer with us, can vary widely, and this article may not cover all aspects of their lives or actions. Readers are encouraged to conduct further research from credible sources to gain a more nuanced understanding of the personalities and historical figures mentioned herein.